Sunday, December 25, 2011

Sunday Funnies

What did Santa bring you?


Hat tip InkSpots via Andrew.

29 comments:

FCC(SW) said...

secure a building (sec - kyur' - a - bil' - ding), v.) 1. Post sentries at all entries and exits, preventing all unauthorized persons from ingress/egress (Army usage).  2.  Turn off all lights, lock doors, and go home (Navy usage).  3.  Storm in two-by-two formation, through one or more entries or breaches, utilizing one to three squads, killing or capturing all combatants and/or sympathizers therein (Marine Corps usage), 4. Take out a three-year lease with an option to buy (Air Force usage).

Shoukhan said...

Does it come with a supplimental power-point training disk?

FCC(SW) said...

Only if you buy the CAC reader upgrade.

Former 3364 said...

As an added bonus, it also installs HBSS.

Former 3364 said...

Of course, there is also the NMCI version which is 10x the price, works intermitently, and you are only leasing and don't really own.

LT B said...

Are there language classes we can access as military guys for cheap?  There are a couple I need to work on. 

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Yep.  The military.  Self-defined experts on all things internet. 

DeltaBravo said...

Win!

The Usual Suspect said...

Farsi? Pashtun? Chinese?

Grandpa Bluewater said...

Difficult for some to master, true fluency requires a forked tongue.

LT B said...

Pashtun or Farsi.  I am ashamed that I never reallyh picked up Chinese.  I lived w/ a family for a couple of years.  What I remember makes the little kids giggle, nothing more. 

Kevin said...

It only goes to 5?

UltimaRatioRegis said...

From the inside cover, a translation example:

FCC(SW) said...

Navy e-Learning (NeL), accessible under the "Learning" links at NKO, has DLI sustainment courses for Farsi, Pashtun, and Chinese (as well as Arabic, Korean, and a couple others).  Not much help for starting from square one, but a good resource for mental drilling.

Not sure if this is still the case, but about a year ago, Navy College San Diego put out that Sailors could get Rosetta Stone for free from the MCRD San Diego library.  Again, not sure if it was a limited time deal (or if it continued into FY12), but worth looking into at your local Marine Corps installation.

USSHelm said...

Pentagonese is known in the civilian world as weasel words.

LT B said...

Awesome.  Thanks Chief.  I will run that to ground this week and see if I can make the magic happen. 

Anonymous said...

LT B : I recommend SOFTS Online, which is funded by SOCOM for their people but will fill online, interactive classes with run of the mill DoD folks. They have everything from absolute beginner to maintaining fluency classes. Requires broadband (since its vtc-ish) so it won't work from the boat, but otherwise pretty awesome, not to mention free.

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

Santa brought me two different DUI stops, as I worked Christmas Eve. You would thing that the people could stay sober just ONE night a year, wouldn't you? I will say that the red , blue and amber LEDs of a Federal Signal ARJENT lightbar look quite festive when seen through light snow, they light up the whole neighborhood.  All the lightbars on our squads, and the Wisconsin State Patrol are Federal, while the local FDs and ambulance services seem to prefer CODE 3 and/or Whelen.  The best thing about last night, was that the only lightbars that turned on were Federals, not an ambulance, not fire truck moved an inch last night.

After the end of my shift, at 0700, I went to a local truckstop for the Christmas Breakfast Buffet.  Ben Franklin once said that beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy. Franklin was wrong, it's BACON that proves that God loves us and wants us to be happy!  Pancakes with boysenberry syrup don't hurt either.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

 Seven vagrants peeing,
 Six dogs a-barking,
 FIVE B&E!
 Four false alarms,
 Three fail to yield,
 Two DUI,
 And a peeping Tom in a pear tree!

DeltaBravo said...

Hooray for bacon!!! 

FCC(SW) said...

The beer quote does sound like Franklin (I'm a huge fan), but he was a teetotaller; he never drank.  It's attributed to him often, though, and each time I hear it I imagine him rolling over in his grave.

habap said...

LT B, if the base library has the Pimsleur method CDs, they're excellent. They list "Farsi Persian" and "Pashto" on their langauges page. http://www.pimsleur.com/

I'm using it for French, while I drive to work (an hour plus each way, so I study for 2 hours every day) and I think it works extremely well.

That said, they have not yet jumped on the bandwagon. No Pentagonese for them yet. Of course, Rosetta Stone's HQ is only a few miles from the puzzle palace, so they have an unfair advantage.

PK said...

eight bumbs a begging.

PK said...

nine lawyers grifting.

PK said...

ten hookers waving.

Grandpa Bluewater said...

Twelve pickpockets picking, Eleven flashers flashing,

UltimaRatioRegis said...

GBW/PK,

Call the Hallmark people!

PK said...

a peeping tom in a pear tree.
two dui.
three fail to yield.
four false alarms.
FIVE B&E
six dogs a-barking.
seven vagrants peeing.
eight bumbs a begging.
nine lawyers grifting.
ten hookers waving.
eleven flashers flashing.
twelve picockets picking.

thank you friends.
C

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

An alternate 1rst day would be " And a Badger in a foul mood ".