Thursday, August 04, 2011

LT B., gird you ... errr ... loins

It starts out actually like it was written by LT B ... and then it all goes horribly wrong. I don't know where to start. Forgive me, I know not what I do.

Click here and accept my apologies - for what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

59 comments:

Redeye80 said...

So a cross between Topgun and Transformers?  Maybe they should have called "Top Hull"

Seahawk6042 said...

Saw this preview the other day, thought it was a joke but then remembered that it came out of Hollywood.

Mahanwasright said...

The fascination with Battleships is beyond rationality--but it is very real.  I meet officers every day who want to recommission the New Jersey (or in rare cases rebuild the Yamato).  Something about those big guns.

At any rate, another free ad  for the Navy from our friends in Hollywood--its what comes of having bases in cool places like San Diego and Oahu instead of Fort Sill or Fort Bliss.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Hey Mahan,

The value of the 16"/55s and the capabilities for those Iowas to carry other highly useful systems cannot be overstated.  While the battleships themselves may no longer be practical, a similar set of capabilities would come in damned handy for a great deal of our power projection responsibilities.  A heavily armored, survivable, tough, fast, hard-hitting capital ship has a place on the world's oceans.  It is entirely our folly that we fail to see that.

But... what in HELL was that movie clip about?  I have no desire to sit through 150 minutes of special effects and bad acting to see Iowa fire her guns at an alien.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Dunno what I just saw....

JimmyMac said...

Will prove to be the greatest recruiting source since Top Gun, JAG, and NCIS!

Stu said...

<span>Sailors and Aliens?  
 
The worst part is that the NWU is now documented in film so we won't be able to deny that it ever existed when it finally goes away.</span>

Stu said...

Navy...A Global Force Against Transformers.

Anonymous said...

<span>The fascination with Battleships is beyond rationality--but it is very real.</span>
<span></span>
<span>Thats because...And I can't explain this near as well as Lt B...that the fetching "lines of force" ...hereand here.... are somehow similar in a visceral sense...</span>
<span></span>
<span>Actually, you can put this on the Italians. They are the ones who came up with the style of rakish "lines of force" seen in the Iowa...And even in the Freedom to this day.</span>
<span></span>
<span>So. Somehow, this may explain Berlusconi as well.</span>

LT B said...

Sigh...   Mahan, battleships are awesome!  They lay down more ordnance in 30 minutes(granted w/ a distance limit) than two carriers.  They project force, they could launch missiles, they are far more defenseable than an LCS and I would be interested to see the cost difference at this point w/ the money the LCSs are sucking out of the budget. 

As for the movie, the only thing that would save it would be tons of BB footage and a nude Brooklyn Decker.  A lot of nude Brooklyn Decker might not even save the movie.  So sad how they whored out the beautiful ship.

Diversity Police (DP) said...

LT B - You are here officially warned for violation of various Diversity Penal Code sections - Your posting failed to include reference to or desire for nude footage of Alexander Skarsgard as well as Brooklyn Decker.....

LT B said...

DADT is for thee, not for me.  :)

sid said...

that was me...

DeltaBravo said...

What?  We don't have permission to access photos of Salma Hayek on this server?

(Not that I was in a personal hurry to do so....)

DeltaBravo said...

LOL.  Top Gun Meets Transformers is my guess... as I see others have also come to the same conclusion.

It could be worse... Tom Cruise could be in the movie.

Jack Brown said...

LT B, I find it hard to comprehend the idea of a movie that couldn't be saved by lots of nude Brooklyn Decker...

Nothing could be that bad.

sid said...

Must be your work firewall DB...

(I get alot of that) O:-)

sid said...

<span>dammit</span>
<span></span>
<span>Thats because...And I can't explain this near as well as Lt B...that the fetching "lines of force" ...<span>here </span>and <span>here</span>... are somehow similar in a visceral sense...</span>  

there

DeltaBravo said...

Must be something wrong with me.  I found the first photo a lot more lovely than the second one.

sid said...

sorry DB...Day Job precludes me from finding a better one just now...

will fix in a bit...but glad to see you get what I mean.

Bet even Facts can see the timelessness....

Nah.

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

The only thing I have a problem with is the smurf suits.  Nobody wants a "real" movie about fighting china.  Movies are about escaping from reality.  Hence why so many movies right now are about fighting aliens and vampires.  Look, put away your anger that there have been no major SWO movies in the last thirty years and just enjoy it for what it is.

Personally I get a kick out of Transformers.  Especially when LCACs are landing in Egypt to deliver Marines to destroy the Deceptecons!  So, what could be better than blowing up transformers with a BB?

Nothing.

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

NCIS? JAG? 

Join the military and be like these dirtbags who rape, murder, get raped and get murdered!

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

NCIS? JAG? 

Join the military and be like these dirtbags who rape, murder, get raped and get murdered!

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

If the bad acting is Brooklyn Decker I'm game.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Well, there is THAT, yes.

sid said...

Here yah go DB...

DeltaBravo said...

She's beautiful!  Gorgeous profile.

Sean said...

Firing point procedures....Master 1

(although to be honest I never was really sure if one MK-48 could break the back of an Iowa class BB, given the nature of her keel...)

virgil xenophon said...

"While the battleships themselves may no longer be practical.."

Why? Their hull design is STILL one of the most advanced in the world, making them STILL among our fastest ships. Their deck space/hull volume allow for all sorts of add-on/bolt-on wpns sys.; their armor makes them among our most survivable, and improved powder with terminal guidance on improved shells, combined with UAV spotters make them one helluva shore bombardment platforms. The ONLY 2 things  I can think of is a) their purpulsion systems are out of sync maintenance-wise w. tdays Navy, and b) as has been said by Edward Luttwak: "It's not that we can't aford to pay the 1500+ sailors needed to man them--it's just that we can't afford the braces on the teeth of the daughters of the Navy supply types at Memphis NAS or wherever who supply them."

ewok40k said...

Posleens hated battleships... Whatever the thing they have found in this movie is, it won't like them too. 9 ton broadside FTW!

LT B said...

BS!  Blowing up transformers with a BB and porn stars manning the rails!

Surfcaster said...

DP - please don't continue this reasoning...

Reminds we once of a schools super when I told him that I'd squashed a student run pR0n server. He asked me if there was ghey pR0n, ya know, so all groups were represented...

Byron said...

I expect a spread of four will ruin its day.... especially if they were ADCAP.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

VX,

If we were serious about a redesign of the BBs, we could do it.  A reactor instead of the boilers, replacement of the ten twin 5"/38s with four 5"/62s.  Remove C turret, and replace the after deck with a dual-angled armored flight deck for STOVL aircraft extending at the 0-2 level all the way to just forward of where the second funnel currently is, with enough room  for T-hawk launchers and t 4x 5"/62 mounts.   Hangar space under the flight deck for 18 aircraft?

How many Mk-41s could be fit forward of A turret?  Minus fuel bunkers, how much space could be used for SM-2 and 5" magazines?  AV fuel and ordnance? 

How much would the crew be reduced by the removal of a 16"/55 turret?  Of the ten 5"/38s replaced with 4 5"/62 single mounts?  Of removal of all boilers and machinery and replacement with nuclear propulsion? 

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

Yarrrrrrr, meet me in "shaft alley!"

sid said...

Friedman speaks to this in his Battleships...

Because of the extremely narrow entry forward...yet another negative concession to speed...the Iowas had less than desired torpedo proitection for the forward magazines.

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

B, we could call the movie "Shaft Alley."

Salty Gator In Extremis said...

Wait why on God's Green Earth wouldn't we use 600/1200 pound steam engine?  Steam is the most redundant propulsion system in the fleet today.

James said...

Ah ha i see you also have read baened books.

They also hate Des Moines Class Heavy cruisers.....did someone say fire support?

James said...

Fuck it lets just build 4 or 5 more BS with acctual battleship lvl protection. Reactors. Modern secondaries, 4 CIWS mounts atleast, TLAM, 6-9 16in upgraded and modernized.

Just one of them and a captain given a free will could have ended libya in about a week or less. Might not be much of tripoli left standing but i hear its ugly as sin anyways.

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK-UzQ48JE&feature=feedf_more

ken dawg said...

Hmmm...  <span>Brooklyn Decker would make for a pretty good Daisy Mae!  </span> 8-)

LT B said...

Battleships make me happy, LCSs makes me sad. 

Anonymous said...

Top SWO, the world at 13 knots.

LT Rusty said...

That would not suck.

Paddy Murphy said...

Fellas, this isn't a movie!

This is just the PAO's rendition of RIMPAC 2012, showing off the testing of the new LCS mod (DASN title "WTF").

Haven't you all seen the PowerPoint? It's fully networked to the Collective!

Paddy Murphy said...

Top SWO, huh? In case some of you are wondering who the best is, they are up here on this plaque. Do you think your name will be on that plaque? That's pretty arrogant, considering the company you're in. The men on that plaque conducted AEGIS 3M spot checks in under 10 minutes. They slept one hour a day, just for the bragging rights. They drank only coffee, and bled lube oil. Their coveralls were spotless and starched. They checked their 8 o'clocks at 2100 - the day before. They re-read the CO's standing orders, every watch. They got 5.0 individual trait averages - but always thought that was too low. And they never, never said they liked the food in the Wardroom. They were Top SWOs.

James said...

Resistence is futile....your brain must join the network...

ewok40k said...

anyway I pity the poor fellas who after this ad join the navy in hope of serving on BB and get onto LCS instead...

Diversity Police (DP) said...

Lighten up, shipmate.  Was referring to the TV shows.  And by the way, if you take the time and effort to ask Recruiting Command you would discover that those three (Top Gun (movie), JAG (TV show), and NCIS (TV show)) were (and still are) the most frequently referenced reasons for "cold calls" received by recruiters.  Not Super Bowl ads, not NASCAR, not anything else! 

Byron said...

Hell, seeing how that thing is a starship, it might BE Daisy! Now, where's the "breast works"? :)

And in case you didn't know, these are really John Ringo inside jokes...And yes, (he says, bowing) I am an uber-Redshirt, Troy Rising :)

Combat Wombat said...

I built that model in the mid 80s. Hasegawa? Tamaya?

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Hell, I would join the Navy and wear that stupid blueberry suit if they let me sit next to Ziva!  (Back off, Byron!!!)

Anonymous said...

You dumb cannon-cocker, You get between me and Zeva and you'll wish you'd gotten between Chesty Puller and a good cigar! 8-)

LT B said...

I joined to avoid the draft.

Byron said...

"Guest" was me...had to get a new computer (at work), hard drive was getting ready to spin a gear... and stay away from my gal, you ugly damn Marine!

James said...

What? Ill have to check...again.

Anonymous said...

You can't handle Romeo at the dip.

Bubba Bob said...

<span> </span>Here is what I don’t understand, the NBU.  If I go camping in the woods, hiking with the boy scouts, or bird watching, I wear gear I buy at the local surplus store.  There is lots of cool clothing for outdoorsmen, but army gear seems best suited to a weekend out of doors.


<span> </span>If a friend calls seeking help taking an engine out of his car, I am going to dress entirely different than I would if I were walking through the woods.  Dungarees, the traditional uniform of sailors tending machines, are perfectly suited to working on machines.  Blue jeans and a workshirt is what any normal person would choose.  

<span> </span>Cotton is a hygienic, comfortable fabric, and the safest choice for steam, fire, and heat.  The reason so many blue jeans are sold, is because the product is so superior.  Nothing is more comfortable than a lightweight plain weave cotton cloth shirt.  The enlisted uniform of jeans and a chambre shirt was the perfect clothing for be underway in a naval ship, what need was there to move from functional clothing to silly costumes?