Saturday, February 04, 2012

Caption Contest!

Here you go.

45 comments:

SWON6RET said...

During COMPTUEX DDG-78 should be conducting training exercises preparing for battle not conducting "all-hands preservation call " - that can be done inport.  During COMPTUEX they should be simulating "war time steaming" when not actually conducting firing exercises they should be simulating engagements [every thing except firing] on targets of <span>opportunity</span>.  Back in the day as soon as sea and anchor detail was secured we fired for PAC [pre action calibration - for any lubbers out there] - every CO [every saiolor must thing of the Chesapeake-Leopard before and during preps for u/w.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

"If we keep rubbing it like this, will that get the elevation mechanism to work?"

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Or, possibly:

"Commander DESGRU orders 'Weapons condition flaccid'".

Surfcaster said...

April 1, 2015

STFU News! Give us 20 seconds - We'll tell you what to think.

With decreased budgets looming, the last helipcopter dropped torepedos were removed from inventory and transfered to a foreign power. Not concerned, Navy leadership is expanding the capabilities of existing systems, providing redundant capabilities.

Suffering from decreased retention rates and general malaise, the century long prohibition of alcohol onboard ship has been reversed.

In unrelated news, the A/E/F/K-18G Sub Hornet has been accepted into the fleet though unofficial Pentagon officials have stated the "Dipping Sonar Module" is proving a greater engineering challenge than expected.

Reporting For STFU News
Troy McClure

Go Pats!

maogwai cat said...

The Catapult Load Team carefully performs checklist items prior to loading the end of the catapult with a training device.

Burke said...

Looks like the Viagra didn't work.

Andy said...

"Aw, that's ok, big fella. Happens to the best of us. Get a good night's rest and you'll be more than ready the next time, we promise! And you know, we'll always love ya."

Vigilis said...

Robo swabber takes the place of half a dozen sailors until its solar batteries run down.

Rob said...

Yup. Too much salt peter again.

Retired Now said...

You've served your country well for decades. Time for you to take it easy and retire. Besides, those young 57mm BAE/BOFORS replacements for you and all your 127mm cousins, well... They're just so cute, and don't shake all the delicate new COTS electronics as much as you do. Have a good retirement

Adversus Omnes Dissident said...

"Everyone take a powder.  Imagine how the working party must have gone on Iowa."

MR T's Haircut said...

You didnt have any spare parts when you started taking it apart, and now you tell me you found a bolt, wingnut, castle nut and a half eaten Cheeto?!!

Brett said...

"My 5-incher droops too when covered in seamen."

LT B said...

Walking past Mount 51, GM1 mentioned trying out this 5-incher on the LCS.  It hasn't worked since.

LT B said...

Winner!

cdrsalamander said...

Brett; report to CMEO for reeducation.

LT B said...

I would be afraid at any others that beat that one.

DM05 said...

A limp gun? "Nah, not me buddy".

ewok40k said...

Even guns feel depressed sometimes...

CAPT JAP (RET -Deceased?) said...

I told you the shell ejector was not supposed to go out the side! Now YOU get to tell the GMC we need a new door.

sid said...

Have you tried stroking the barrel with navel jelly?

Jim in Wisconsin said...

What do suppose this thing is, fellas?

OutlawMike said...

Not to worry, barrel's long enough for chalking up the entire ahmadnanutjob's air farce.

MarkT said...

Today the first transgenered CNO, ADM Micael-Helen Wheels, declared all gunmounts to be elevated to -15% while underway so as not to provoke at-sea hostilities. Admitral Wheels further commented: " Everyone gets uncomfortable with those things sticking out so proud, all at the ready and stuff..."

J. Michael Antoniewicz II said...

The sad state of US Navial Artillary was glimpsed today when this Mark 45 was unable to assume an erect, forward thrusting, ejecting stance.... 

prschoef said...

"Take three APC's and call me in the morning."

Most of you probably don't even know what an APC is (was).

James said...

"This thursday the USS Porter encountered a problem when after sailing by the USS Missouri the 5in gun couldn't raise itself to ready position.

In other news the LCS-1 commited suicide today after sailing past former battlship row. Its believed the two might have something in common.

Mike M. said...

"I complained about cleaning my rifle, so the Chief sent me to do this."

Cap'n Bill said...

"Falling Down on the Job"

SJBill said...

Graphic example of why we need more female GMs.

SJBill said...

Aspirin, and phenacetin and caffeine, for headache.
APC 111 MPs are a bit different: one a day Penicillin tablet taken for getting a "runny nose" while on the beach.

SJBill said...

Nah, we used Boy Butter.

Marine6 said...

Pass the word for the doc to bring up one of those BIG blue pills.

Anonymous said...

I know.. I know...We all wish you were 8 inches too...

sid said...

I'm just glad I don't have that problem with my rapid fire 8 incher!!

(don't worry...its even Kristen friendly...)

James said...

Your doing it again SID!

NGFS anyone?

Old Gator Sailor said...

<span>Pass the word for the Pecker Checker.  This sailor spent too much of his liberty in Olongopo</span>

SJBill said...

There! All better!! http://www.navy.mil/view_single.asp?id=114862

James said...

President Obama and his new CNO begain a new practice today of mandating all naval guns be pointed downward in order to appease his backers who got him a second term last nov. Thre president also said the new policy went down quite well in places such as china and the Middleast. Any DoD personel found to disagree with this decission will be immediatly reported to the new Diversity and Obedience officers now making their way into the fleet.

Retired Now said...

GMG3   "Chief said the C-School for these gunmounts used to be longer than 2 weeks"

GMG2   "Mine was only 2 weeks"

GMG1   "I was in the last 5-54 C--School that was 4 weeks total time".

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

I suspect that the mount in the photo has learned of WISCONSIN's Mount 165 , ( center gun, Turret Two ), that fired the only MK23 KATIE nuclear 16" round ever fired.  There is no need to tell the 5"/54 that it was an inert KATIE being fired to test the ballistics of the round.

sid said...

<span>That deck is embarrassing...  
 
As is the one above. Chip down that nonskid and I'd bet it looks like the surface of the moon.  
 
How long are these ships supposed to last?</span>

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

Can you blame it?  The gun has to wonder what it did to deserve such a fate.

Retired JAG said...

A few more degrees down and we will have properly targeted the XO's office...

ASM826 said...

I don't care what the Lt. says, I'm looking at the manual, and I say this thing is in there upside down.