* We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.
* Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.
* Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.
* Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
* It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
* Iran’s nuclear program is a response to Sarah Palin.
* Sarah Palin used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.
* Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.
* Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn’t challenging enough.
* Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.
40 minutes ago
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