Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Guilty on 3 of 10 charges

I'll let you guess which three.
More than half the women quizzed (54%) said failure to put the seat down was their man's most irritating trait.

Leaving wet towels on the bed was the second most frustrating habit (23%), followed by a propensity to leave dirty laundry on the floor (15%).

Other annoyances cited included snoring, doing a bad job at a household chore for the fear of being asked to do it again, not replacing toilet roll, leaving toenail clippings and loose change around the home, drinking straight from the milk bottle and refusing to ask for directions when lost.

28 comments:

Outlaw Mike said...

FIRST!!!

With me it's snoring, otherwise I'm a good boy. The remedy is to lie on my side. If I fall asleep on my back, she gives me a hard thump after awhile, I adjust, and everybody is happy.

Mike F. said...

Looks like a pretty good checklist...I got about six of them accomplished before I left for work this morning......what? did I read that wrong?

UltimaRatioRegis said...

I snore, but having my nose broken eleven times is likely circumstances in extenuation and mitigation. 

I cannot stand driving around lost, and will ask directions immediately.  Never drink out of the bottle, nor leave finger/toenail clippings about.  I do bang-up work at the house projects, and never with wet towels on the bed.  Loose change is confined to my desk.  Laundry (pt gear mostly) on the floor is sometimes an issue but not often.

So you'd think I wouldn't annoy?  Well here are some items likely not appearing on the above list:

   Whistling the theme from "F Troop" incessantly. Apparently it is contagious and not in a welcome way.

   Singing (off key) "Men of Harlech" in the shower.

   Throwing out lines from The Godfather in the Don Corleone voice at every opportunity ("Then your enemies will become my enemies, and then they will fear you!").

   Shouting out the (correct) answer to the Red Sox/Celtics trivia questions as if I have rediscovered alchemy. 

   When driving, offering suggestions to other drivers such as "try using your f*cking turn signal!".

   Channel-surfing. 

   Leaving clothing hangars on every hook or hinge in the house. 

Some of them are probably pretty innovative, but just as annoying.

LT B said...

I can get the wife on a few of these too.  Annoyances are not only one sided.  As for leaving the toilet seat up...  Would they rather we pee on it?  I have NEVER fallen into the toilet and ALWAYS check before I sit.  Maybe women, with ALL of their supposed superiority can actually learn that valuable skill.  I'm just sayin'.

GIMP said...

Nice to know what irritates women.  I'll vote for "noticing and commenting on any minor fault while being equally imperfect and never having to hear about it."  How about "not noticing the brake pads are gone, driving until the calipers ruin the rotors, and turning a $200 brake job into an $1100 brake system replacement."  I could go on, but won't and never do.  I think that women's most irritating habit is to always notice men's faults and point them out while men accept women as they are, realize minor faults don't make planes fall out of the sky, and move on.

Brodie said...

I never understood the toilet seat thing.  Does that mean that if I put the lid down she will sit on it and start peeing all over?

I always put the seat and lid down.  I have almost trained my wife to close the lid, but everytime an inlaw comes over they leave it up and it makes me very upset.  PUT THE LID DOWN!  Not only does it invalidate their argument, it is gross to look into the toilet when you are brushing your teeth.

Grandpa Bluewater. said...

I plead not guilty to all on the basis of masculinity, and throw my self on the mercy of the Convening Authority, in my case, CinCHouse.

After 40 odd years she still purses her lips and shakes her head.

I note in passing I was dismissed with warning on the capital offense of leaving boondockers where she would trip over them in the dark while heading for the bathroom in the wee hours with the bedroom lights off; and sentenced to the couch on the lesser included offense of planting an unmarked minefield. Sentence reduced to time served and serving breakfast in bed the following morning.

39 plus years ongoing probation successfully served.  So far....

AW1 Tim said...

So... these are considered negative things? Do the females of the species really want to know what torques off the males of the species? if so, they ought to grab a bottle of water and a snack and get settled in, because it's gonna be a long one-way conversation.  =-O

Just sayin'.......

Byron said...

My wife has learned that I, like herself, does not wish to be reminded of past mistakes. It was a difficult assignment, but it was accomplished. I already got the toilet seat thing covered before we married, so I'm over that one. I don't leave wet clothes or towels about and pretty much keep things picked up. Snoring? Can't/won't help that one as I don't want the operation, and she has a worse snore than I do (much, MUCH higher pitch!)

DeltaBravo said...

I'll chime in...  just sayin' that the male person who once long ago inhabited my life... if those things were all he did, he'd still be around.  There are much worse things men can do.

But if you examine some things more closely... the toilet lid up or the milk bottle caper... it's a bacteria issue.  (Think of the mist of germs that flies from an open toilet flush all over your nearby toothbrush.  I'f you are curious, it's on Google.  Same with milk bottle... the germs one puts into a community receptacle... ick.)  That's received as a loud FU to those who share your living space.

All these things are about behaving like one lives alone.  Not acknowleging others share your living space.  Treating the spouse like a servant whose job is to follow you and pick up your dirty socks/underwear/shirts/wet towels...

Or the worse idea... that once you've been informed it is annoying, you continue to do it.  Which sends it into the sphere of deliberate, passive aggressive insult.

I'm curious if men do this at the office.  Say... the guy in the cubicle next to you asks you, "Dude, could you not leave old popcorn sitting in the bag for a week.  It smells gross and it attracts flies" do you continue to do that?  I'd suspect that you curtail annoying workplace habits so as not to be the office jerk.  So why don't spouses get the same regard?

If people want to get along, if someone says "Please, don't...(fill in blank) because it annoys me" why should it become a daily battle?  Then it's interpreted as a pissing contest by the other person. 

Snoring can't be helped.  We're talking things people control.   Most women are annoyed when a man does a bad job at something at home so he won't be asked again because he would never try that stunt at work around people who "mattered." 

I'm sure men have their lists.  It all gets translated on both sides as "if I mattered to you, you wouldn't keep doing this after I asked you not to do it."  A man who can be quickly trained to secure his thumb drive in the office safe every night can't expect a woman to believe that the pile of toenail clippings was there AGAIN because "I forgot."  Every time?  Would you leave the thumb drive on your desktop just to show your supervisor who is in charge?

Petty insults every day can be death by a thousand cuts to a relationship. 

Just translating the woman's view and how we evaluate these little actions in our own heads when they repeatedly come up.  (Continued...)

DeltaBravo said...

Continued....
I suspect the annoying things women do... have a reason (to us.)  It's part of a system of running a house and we'll launch into an ear-bleeding explanation of why our way is better.  I fail to see what kind of efficiency is involved in leaving a wet towel on the floor to moulder and make the towel smelly and disgusting when throwing it over the rod takes little more energy and might actually make it DRY.  Some of that stuff translates in a woman's head to "I am royalty.  Your job is to wait on me."  Sometimes that is viewed as...  degrading?

Sal, if you're only guilty of 3 of 10, I'd say you were a keeper and Mrs. 'Mander is lucky.

11B40 said...

Greetings:

Back in the last '70s, I had a longer than most term sweetheart who was somewhat routinely annoyed by my lack of contribution to the household responsibilities.  She seemed to think that I didn't do ANYTHING around the house.  I, in most diplomatic of ways, replied that I was keeping the Viet Cong away.  She said there are no Viet Cong around our abode.  Sounds like I'm doing a pretty good jobs, says I.  

LT B said...

Have you ever been to sea or in the field?  lol

Grumpy Old Ham said...

I would like*10 on this one if I could.  Irritating things I do are exactly that; irritating things the XYL does almost always cost me money.

The toilet seat gripe really grates on me.  I put it down, because if I don't, the cat and dog decide it's an alternate water source :( .  Having said that, the f*ng hinge works in both directions, if it's up and you don't like it up, put the damned thing down yourself.  Good grief, there are more important things to bitch about.

DeltaBravo said...

Lid down also keeps the pets and the kids out of it.

DeltaBravo said...

Nothing like walking in and seeing a toddler happily splashing fingers in the toilet and then putting them in his/her mouth.  (Never happened in my house because toilet stayed closed, but I've heard horror stories.)

Old NFO said...

It's often been said that men marry women for what they are and they change.  Women marry men for what they think they can make out of them, and they don't change.  

I will say however, after a little over 35 years of marriage, things that used to really piss me off don't bother me as much.  Some I even laugh about.  

As for the bathroom, make one entirely of concrete, porcelain and stainless steel with a floor drain and a urinal and keep it for yourself.  I hate all the crap she thinks needs to be in there.

Byron said...

Don't forget to leave the lid and seat up :)

UltimaRatioRegis said...

Bingo.

Wait'll everyone in the house has it stuck in their heads, and are rightfully blaming you!!!!

There is a certain satisfaction in that.  ;)

LT B said...

If you have ever read "The Bible according to Mark Twain" you will enjoy the part about Adam and Eve.  As I recall, it starts with Adam's diary.  I will paraphrase:  It was quite before it showed up.  It is always making noise by my ear.  It has now informed me that it is a she.  Eve has a diary and they compliment each other w/ Adam saying he'd have it no other way after he grew accustomed to her. 

http://www.amazon.com/Bible-According-Mark-Twain-Irreverent/dp/0684824396

Grumpy Old Ham said...

<span>make one entirely of concrete, porcelain and stainless steel with a floor drain and a urinal </span>

Ah yes, the "Man's Toilet".  Tim Allen devoted an episode of "Home Improvement" to the construction of such an edifice to efficiency.

I'm exactly the opposite on the little things that grate on me after nearly 30 years.  I used to be able to laugh them off, but now they're just more hashmarks on the debit side of the aggravation balance sheet, much like GIMP's bare brake pads grinding away against the calipers...

Kristen said...

Thanks for the link.  I love Mark Twain's writing.  I'll check it out when I have a chance.

Kristen said...

That's sweet.  And I do think that a good, understanding and supportive wife is the most valuable asset that a career military man can have.

Kristen said...

We need to clone you and pass you around.  :)

Kristen said...

Curtis, seriously, that's a bad habit for a wife to get into.  Unless it's an emergency, a husband should be given a little down time when he walks in the door.

BostonMaggie said...

The whistling isn't incessant.

I know how to stop it.....when I want to.

BostonMaggie said...

concur!  Lid down!

Curtis said...

Really really high maintenance.  A bottemless pit of wants and needs.


sheesh, shelling out a whole $ to a 7 year old/week for falling asleep and/or boogie boarding in San Diego.

Troubled times...