Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sunday Funnies

I think there is a missing chapter from Webb's book; you know his book, Born Fighting: How the Scots-Irish Shaped America.

That gene pool - which for full disclosure I mostly come from - has a lot to do with the character and martial success of our nation. Like all positive things though - there are some quirky side-effects.

Maybe it has more to do with Marines ... I don't know; but the music is a dead giveaway.

Anyway - that chapter has something to do with tooth picks in the head, salt up the nose and lime juice in the eye.




26 comments:

UltimaRatioRegis said...

I still maintain the three most dangerous words in the English language are spoken by Lance Corporals. 

"Hey!  Watch this!"

Andy said...

My reaquaintance with the Marines lately has familiarized me with another commonly heard Marine quote, usually voiced after the fact, by SNCO's: "This is why we can't have nice things." >:o

steveeas said...

Oddly, reaffirms my faith...Clearly the seventies are still alive.

Redeye80 said...

Or by Phantom pilots, followed shortly by "Do you think the the Skipper is goin' be p$ssed?"

UltimaRatioRegis said...

My sound belief is that you could take a Lance Corporal from 1966, 1986, and 2006, put them in a room, and the language, perspective, humor, and interests would be very near precisely the same. 

The older generation always worries if the younger can carry the load.  I have seen them and served next to them.  The younger generation of Marines is MAGNIFICENT.  Skilled, brave, motivated. 

Even if they have a penchant for making a mess of the duty room in the barracks, occasionally winding up IHCA, and getting on the Gunny's nerves.  (All of which they consider implied tasks, for you MDMP types out there.)

Redeye80 said...

Not my idea of fun but 30 years from now, they will still be telling this story.  Eleanor Roosevelt got it right:

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”

DeltaBravo said...

Yeah... Uncle Sam's Misguided Children...  like any good parent, just shake your head and love 'em anyway... 

(And don't let them catch you laughing.)

Of course the undertone in all this is they're laughing at something very painful and continue functioning physically almost still in tune with the music.  Don't want to go up against that kind on a battlefield!  Try pouring acid in your eye and see if you look so calm and amused.  Dare you!  (Report back here and tell us all how it goes....)

Bistro said...

I took myself off from the wardroom for a smoke on the fantail where a young gentleman inadvertently fired a machine gun at Enhance. He wondered aloud if he should report that and I said no. The skipper was no more than 30 feet away and heard it. Machine guns make a distinctive sound when they go off. He blasted into view about 4 seconds later, hauled the shooter up to the jack staff stalked to the bridge and ordered the OOD to shoot him him if he moved. It was a very windy day. Not sure why Enhance was moving since we didn't work on very windy days.

butch said...

testosterone + alcohol = ensuing hijinks.

UltimaRatioRegis said...

My brother, once a Lance Coconut himself, approached it philosophically.

"You get drunk.  You do sh*t."

Anonymous said...

LOL!  Heard that one just this week. Several brand new Marines were waiting at the USO for their ride to Pendleton for secondary training. I asked them to take some of the dozen or so luggage carts lined up in the USO and return them to the rental machine.  They were typical happy-to-help fresh-faced Marines, but after a couple minutes one of them returned and said "We can't get them to go in." 

I arrived to see groups of carts all around the machine but none in the proper slots.  Turns out they had been pushing into the wrong end of the machine.  They were very embarrased and as I turned to leave, one said to the other with irony in his voice, "See, this is why we can't have nice things."  I busted up laughing.

FbL said...

Oops, that was me!

FbL said...

Directly preceded by, "I'm bored."

Andy said...

Hey Sal, was it my hangover, er, not having enough coffee this morning, or wasn't there a Jeff Bacon 'toon up this morning, too?  What happened? Did Jeff make you take it down?

cdrsalamander said...

1. That is for next week.
2. No. I've been posting his stuff on and off since '04.  I also give him free advertising and pimp his books....so I guess he is OK with it.

Andy said...

OK, so I wasn't hallucinating, that's a relief! 8-)   Jeff forever made himself beloved by Airdales when he did his "How Aviators Relieve the Watch" 'toon, lo, these many years ago.  The man has perfect pitch for capturing so much.

Sim said...

Sadly I've done that, hurts like buggery, the lemon you can wash out of your eye, the salt hangs around in your sinus cavity.

Scots-Irish background too, maybe it's in the blood.

James said...

Yep looks about right to me. Agressive, clanish, messed up ways of dealing with pain, likes to irritate those who take life to seriously, good at war, good at life.

9/10 scots-irish-the rest sicilian and italian and english.

Of course thats the magority of the south.

Did i mention we also had a penchant for over breeding? Kinda like rabbits at one time....then the pill......and the country has gone down hill ever sense.

James said...

LOL reminds me of a saying i once heard somewhere.

"Thank god for the scots-irish if it wasnt for themselves they would have taken over the world.

Bistro said...

ya know they were streaming a single O and trying to recover the fake mine we used to determine if it was a good day to proceed into the fields. We were very dangerous. I said that to a Kuwaiti special forces captain. For heaven's sake don't try any sneaking and peaking against our camp after dark. dangerous but not terribly skilled with weapons. M16A1s and maybe some others.

Latent Infantry NCO said...

Ahh, I remember it well: the courting rituals of the Scots/Irish junior enlisted. All the ingredients of a classic libo incident are here: M/F ratio at least 3:1, males doing all the heavy drinking and undressing, girls doing all the laughing. The only sure result is that at least one male will be injured and permanently scarred which will ensure the evening lives forever in the annals of E3-dom.

On duty, the females and alcohol would be replaced with E-Tool Quals, MRE heaters/1qt canteens and seemingly random acts of violence. Same results though. Good times.

I still can't figure if these antics help forge the bonds of brotherhood or are a reflection of it. Regardless, much of it has been lost in the two decades since initiation and acceptance have become hazing and harassment.

AOD said...

URR, it is even scarier when you hear "hey, HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!"

AOD said...

"and I said no."  Bistro, I judged you correctly.

andrewdb said...

A buddy used to be the safety officer at an aviation squadron.  He said about 90% of the tapes of accidents he had to review had that phrase as the last thing on them.

Therapist1 said...

"You can fart in a balloon and paint it red and a Marine would love it."  Hamburger Hill

Therapist1 said...

Also, "You gotta be tough if you're gonna be stupid!"-my dad