Monday, September 21, 2015

So, a Re-Animated Stalin and Catherine the Great Walk in to the Briefing room ...

After a brief delay as Stalin demonstrates the "on-off" switch to Catherine en route to the front row, and the POLAD managed to get Stalin to stop making shadow puppets on the wall in front of the beamer, the Russian General Staff J3 was able to get going.
Russian combat operations on behalf of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad are likely to begin “soon,”
Russian military forces in tanks alongside Syrian forces in the Lattakia region, ... Since last Friday, Moscow has sent two dozen additional fighter jets to Syria, bringing the total number in the country to 28.
The Tsarina, after quickly reviewing her previous notes about these "tanks" and "jets" (she thinks of them as Cuirassiers and Artillery with a bit more to them), interrupts with a quick, "What are the Turks doing?"
Nothing. Our ships and aircraft are passing through the Dardanelles without a problem and there are no Turkish forces moving to the border.
Stalin just lit his pipe and thought of some off-color jokes they told as kids in Georgia about Turks. The J3 continued;
... many seemed to welcome a Russian intervention if it alleviated the burden on the U.S. for fighting ISIS, even if that meant diminished American influence over how the war ends. Intervening on behalf of an ally bring its own challenges, they note.

The Russians “are going to inherit Assad’s mess,” a second defense official said. “I don’t know if they have looked at it from all possible angles.”

"Watching the Russians take the initiative is the most clear example yet of the complete abdication of U.S. leadership and responsibility in the region,” Christopher Harmer, a naval analyst at the Washington D.C.-based Institute for the Study of War, told The Daily Beast.
"Wait!" Stalin broke in. "Where are the American and British navies? Where are the French? Do they still have forces in the area? The British bases in Cyprus? What about the Allied forces in Germany? What are they doing?"

It was at that point that the rather elderly, portly man sitting next to the POLAD, earlier identified as one of the "Senior Mentors," started a big, yellow-toothed grin with a slight chuckle.

"Comrade Stalin, you will like this very much I believe - and Tsarina, I think the British and German information you will especially like. May I recommend that we interrupt this part of the Commander's Update Brief and go straight to the J2's portion. Specifically the location and numbers of forces in the area, and the allied forces' readiness levels in Western Europe."

At the end of it all, the Tsarina simply got up, asked for a map of map of Asia Minor, waived her hand at the nearest table for it to be cleared and just stated - "We need some of those big, fat, black pens, markers, whatever you call them. And turn off that picture projector - it gives us a headache."

Comrade Stalin stood up to join her, slapping the Senior Mentor on the back, had a good guffaw, and started rubbing his hands together.

In a booming voice he barked, "We have tanks and aircraft in Syria. Our Spetsnaz have been openly in the fight for weeks. Iran is our ally. The British are focused on who knows what, the French are confused, the Germans have become Belgians, and the Americans won't stop tripping over themselves and have cut off their own balls. Hurry up! I want to hear what the Tsarina is thinking!"

No comments: