I know that chick ... or at least one like her. I don't know who I feel sorry for - her Col. husband or his Brigade.
The commander of Fort Bragg has barred the wife of an 82nd Airborne Division colonel from nearly all interaction with her husband's brigade and the unit's families after an investigation found her influence "detrimental to the morale and well-being of both."Am I a bad person for laughing after I read this?
Sworn statements from the investigation, ordered in January by Lt. Gen. Frank Helmick, accuse Col. Brian Drinkwine's wife, Leslie Drinkwine, of using her husband's position as leverage to repeatedly harass and threaten soldiers and their families.
Spillman's findings hold Col. Drinkwine partially responsible for his wife's behavior at Fort Bragg.Knowing the personality type in question; good luck with that Col. Drinkwine. Then again, it sounds like the problem is only partially hers.
Spillman calls Col. Drinkwine the "key enabler" of his wife's actions because he failed to dispel the perception that she had a level of authority similar to his own.
"At least three commanders approached Col. Drinkwine with issues they were having," Spillman wrote in the report. "Yet there is no evidence that he took steps to moderate her behavior."
In March of last year, before the brigade deployed, all six battalion commanders serving under Col. Drinkwine's command went to his office together to talk to him about his wife.Yikes.
At that meeting, according to their sworn statements, Col. Drinkwine dismissed their complaints and told them that the relationship between his wife and their wives was a senior-to-subordinate relationship. He reiterated that his wife speaks for him.
"Although he made the statement within the context of FRG-related business, this and (Dr. Drinkwine's) repeated reiteration of this statement to commanders and spouses clearly contributed to the perception that, by extension as the brigade commander's wife and within the context of FRG activities, she held a level of authority that resembled command authority," Spillman wrote in his report.
Spillman said Col. Drinkwine not only failed to dispel that perception in the March meeting with his battalion commanders but he "in fact worsened it."
In one instance in which an Army major said she threatened his career, Dr. Drinkwine said she merely mentioned that she would talk to her husband about their disagreement. She said she doesn't see how anyone could construe that as a threat.What a train wreck. That poor Brigade. It looks like they have strawberry problems as well.
Dr. Drinkwine told Spillman during the investigation that the stress of the situation and the demands of raising two children were weighing heavily on her.
Col. Drinkwine has supporters.Finally, the nuclear option.
Lt. Col. Kelly Ivanoff, who was the brigade's deputy commanding officer from June 2008 to June 2009, said the problems came from the bottom up, not the top down. "The resistance put forth by some of the battalions is nearly equivalent to a mutiny," Ivanoff wrote in a sworn statement.
Helmick, who took command of Fort Bragg in November, said he was told that the former Fort Bragg commander, Gen. Lloyd Austin, had told Col. Drinkwine before the deployment to take care of the issues.Skippy - how about we ship her to you for a couple of weeks? That would be an episode of Wife Swap that I would watch!
But the situation festered.
Helmick, in a letter addressed to Dr. Drinkwine, wrote, "even though (Lt. Gen. Austin) and (Maj. Gen. Scaparrotti) have discussed the command climate within the 4th Brigade Combat Team with your husband, the actions that he took have not been sufficient."
Helmick's order bans Dr. Drinkwine from holding any leadership position, directly or indirectly, in the 4th Brigade or its FRG; participation in any activity or function of the 4th BCT or its FRG, except for attendance at memorial services; being present in any 4th BCT building, including barracks and headquarters buildings; and contacting any member of the 4th BCT leadership or FRG leadership except contact with her husband.
The order remains in effect until Col. Drinkwine no longer commands the 4th BCT or until the Drinkwines leave Fort Bragg, whichever happens later.
64 comments:
A JO I knew had a problem w/ the CO's wife demanding a repeat of a gathering because she missed the first one. My buddy's wife did not attend and was "reprimanded" by the CO's wife. Well, she told the CO's wife that she had attended the first one and did not need to do more work a second time. The CO called the JO into his office at which point the JO told the CO that his wife had removed herself from a proefessional career to support his Naval career. While the CO was honor bound to reprimand him for any transgressions or to mentor him professionally, he was not to talk to him about his wife and the wife of the CO was not his wife's boss. He was in the US Navy, his wife was not. The CO did not take well to that, but knew to back off. Cooler heads prevailed, but I was impressed that he took up for his wife. It also helped he was an excellent ship driver. I learned more seamanship from him than from anybody else over my career. Bar none.
My first day in the FMF, <span>very first day</span>, I pulled into the commissary at 29 Palms, and proceeded to hear some dried up old hag of a wife (I was 22, so she was probably 40...) dressing down a "bursting bomb" Gunner in a set of Charlies (he had Korean War ribbons on) for parking in "her" space.
She began to berate him after introducing herself as "Mrs. Colonel" so-and-so.... Well, he let loose on her. I wish I could have tape recorded it. There I stood in the 120 degree sunshine, mouth agape, watching the show. I could not believe that someone who was an Officer's wife would behave that way. But there would be far worse. Apparently there still is.
God bless those poor bastards in 4th BCT. And their wives.
it's things like this that make me feel okay about habitually parking in the ombudsman space...on principle.
Ah yes reminds me of when I was a young Petty Officer and had a Jeep with no doors. I was driving home after a long day and was in my dungarees. At the time we were only allowed to wear on work to home transit, well this lady crazed and honking her horn was chasing me down Atlantic to Hodges in Mayport to squeel in and "block" me in after I got to my apartment to tell me or yell rather "that I am CDR ___ wife and I am reporting you for driving in your dungarees..." I told her that I didnt see any insignia on her collar, and she wasnt wearing a hat so her authority away from Munchkin land is not recognized. Then she asked for my name which I gladly held out my chest for her to spell it correctly... got called in to the Master Chiefs Office the next day. He asked if I cursed at her. I told him "No" he said I should have! THen he told me the matter was closed..
Wow, I have this insane urge to let the nervous laughter loose. I hope the people she affected have found peace.
<p><span>Many years ago I heard a story that supposedly happened at Naval Aviation Schools Command in Pensacola. Apparently a number of the wives had been wearing their husbands rank, especially with the enlisted personnel and the wives of junior officers. A very senior officer called a meeting of the local wives clubs at an auditorium and asked that the wives seat themselves in order of rank. After an extended period of comparing rank, date of rank and lineal numbers the ladies were seated. At this point the senior officer lectured them about abusing their clout and non existent authority and told them that as civilians, they had no rank and knock it off. True? I don’t know, but it ought to be.</span>
</p><p><span></span>
</p><p><span>In one squadron we had a CO whose wife often stood off to the side at quarters and considered herself as Mrs. CO. On the other hand, I have seen a few occasions where the wives of captains and above have upbraided the wives of less senior officers for trying to throw their husbands rank around. </span>
</p>
One of the more unfortunate parts of this story is going to be the impression it leaves among civilians. From what I understand, many of these FRG groups do a great job. Their stories will never see the light of day. Now a great many people who read this article will come away thinking Mrs. Thurston Howell III and her husband CAPT Philip Francis Queeg are running the deal.
On another note....this is why I play with Sailors and send them back....never marry them.
Welcome to the 1950's military.
Bullies come in all shapes and are not gender-specific.
The career most affected is the one that she was pushing. Enjoy your retirement with this harridan, Colonel.
See, URR, I just don't get it. They should know best of all. Were I that Col's wife, I would have approached him, seen the ribbons on his uniform, introduced myself and winked and said "That was my parking space. But I'm going to share it with you from now on. Thank you for your service, Marine. Stay well."
Hell... I would have directed my husband to redisignate it as a Wounded Warrior space and I'd hike from the back of the lot.
What's with these women?
*redesignate* oops.
Two colonels for the price of one! How economic!
Oh, and someday we need to have a rousing discussion on the Caine Mutiny. That immortal scene where Bogart goes off on his spiel and eventually corrects himself... met by silence and the pitying glances of the men who understand and sympathize, but still recognize the problem... as the heavy silence hangs in the air... punctuated only by the fan... (nice symbol, even without the stuff hitting it... like walking into the propellers... pick your metaphor for what just happened to his career in that scene.)
Why don't they make movies like that anymore?
I guess the 4th BCT "Family" has had enough of their self-appointed alpha female.
You know, the job is hard enough without that sort of baggage being tossed into the mix.
Looks like the Army folks have a far greater tolerance for retaining "confidence in the judgment and ability" of CO's than the Navy does. How many skippers have we fired already this year?
Sounds like the Army would be a lot better off if this CO were fired, and his wife with him, and sent far away from anything, if not retired immediately.
Friendly fire casualties are the worst kind, and he/she/they were inflicting them on our side.
DB, you got me. Would the wife of a boss walk into a factory and start berating foremen and line chiefs? Or, worse, at the company picnic, light into the wives?
good & bad in all services I suppose... probably not a lot different than the Mrs. Dr.'s I have known or the Mrs. Senator, etc. who want to trade on the SPOUSE's accomplishments for lack of their own... Most spouses respond to requests from the [important] spouse, except in those cases where the "important" spouse also is so full of himself/herself -- and that is where the spouse gets the "permission" to act badly. as so evident in this case.
And that's what kills me - the people that do truly good work, busting their butts to serve the families within the unit through the FRG will bear the burden of this woman's (and the 37 others because you KNOW she's not the only boob to act like this...just the one to get caught) behavior.
Her husband bears just as much responsibility (if not more because he WAS in a position of power) for this as she does. My husband would have been mortified if I even began to think as this woman behaved. Oy.
Almost most like a Secretary of State riding on the coattails of her husband. The nerve!!!!
We cannot let Phib's absolutely brilliant Wife Swap suggestion go unremarked. I almost would feel sorry for Skippy. I think Mrs. Doctor would win that one.
But it would be pretty damn funny to watch him try to make her wear a schoolgirl miniskirt, PeterPan blouse, lace anklets and black patent heels. Or whatever passes for fashion in East Asia today.
His wife, Leslie, has a doctorate degree and teaches marketing courses at Campbell University.
Good grief, as if being a CO's wife isn't enough, she's wearing her *academic rank* on her sleeve, too. What a piece of work.
OBTW, as much as Skeletor McPeak deserves a spot on your wall of shame, Ellie should be right there with him, too.
At least there's a little karmic payback possibility, knowing that if he kicks her to the curb, she'll still collect half his retirement pay thanks to that beeyotch Schroeder (spit).
Mrs. COL Dr. Drinkwine probably thinks she deserves every penny...and more...
Yeah, but for every Mrs. Col. Doctor there's some poor woman who gave up earning money herself and instead followed the hubby to pestholes and global armpits and the Arizona/California desert and then got dumped for the new cookie leaving a decade or a decade and a half of empty on her Social Security Statement. There's got to be a middle ground and proper recompense when a soldier is able to go anywhere and his career is unfettered because his wife gives up her place on the employment ladder and did a lot of parenting alone. Been there, done that. Glad it didn't count for absolutely nothing...
(Other than that, I have no use for Schroeder myself.)
It all starts by mindlessly saluting blue stickers. I think the regs actually say to salute the sticker, but on my base, my standing order is to only salute the officer once positive identification has been established by showing their CAC. I've had one wife come in and complain about my MAs until I made it clear the policy was mine.
C97
Hey, I'm into Goth Girls myself, but that whole anime look kinda creeps ME out.
Atsa ok, boss, we unnerstood. :)
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<span>C97,
I think it is appropriate for proper military courtesy to salute an Officer no matter where he / she is.
Dont see the need for a pissing contest from the wife or husband of an officer and an MA or the COC.
question? Why is it your policy? Are you in Command? Do your MA's salute retired blue sticker drivers?
As far as I am concerned they could get rid of stickers on cars all together since we do a 100 percent ID check on bases now anyways.</span>
Mr T, stickers aren't about base access...they are about valid driver's license and insurance.
Byron,
youre correct, you know important things that the federal govt needs to check.. like smog control in California...
Mom was a "COW" four times over and never -EVER- acted like this...
She, and the CO's wives from her era...when there was an average of a Class A accident a day in naval aviation on top of the combat losses...never got the recognition they deserved for their very hard work and sacrifice.
T, they just want to make sure that us yardbirds (who are well known for not fully complying with state law) have good licenses, aren't using a car that isn't insured and are insured so that if we have a run-in with Navy equipement or someone else, that the messy court stuff is averted. I can understand it completely, and though it's a pain in the ass, have no problem complying with it. After all, if someone runs into my car out here, I have a high degree of certainty that they will be insured.
Hahah... Byron, does that work in reverse? I know back in the day a new Ensign assigned to a ship in drydock whose new car was parked on the pier in his ensign spot, and well, when it came time to paint the ship, a million little droplets of haze grey were shared with his new car....
MTH,
It is proper courtesy to salute an officer and my MAs render proper salutes when rank is established. With 100% ID check, rank is established quite quickly. When a car pulls up to my gates, I prefer the MA to be observing the potential for an unsafe situation or a suspicious action on the part of a passenger or driver instead of worrying about rendering a salute to a sticker. Yes, it is my policy and yes, I am in command. My MAs render salutes to officers regardless of their status (active or retired), not stickers.
There is a plan in the works to get rid of stickers completely. It started with an Air Force effort, but the other services are not adopting as quickly. The stickers are good when you are trying to ascertain who owns a vehicle, but it is not something that cannot be overcome by having our LE folks gain access to the same civ DBs used by our civ counterparts.
VR,
C97
As I said, I am favor of just getting rid of the stickers. We dont use them in Europe, dont see the need to use them here in the States. Takes away the distraction and our MA's can do their jobs with greater punctiliousness ...
Damn yardbirds... ;)
Actually, the bigger problem is with the sailors :)
I wish they WOULD get rid of the stickers. If for no other reason than to take the big "break-into-me-I'm-a-servicemember's-car" target that is painted on my car with that sticker. More servicemembers' vehicles get broken into on this god-forsaken island than civilians' cars. I hate it.
I don't know,,,,,,,,the ombudsman was the only one who checked on the family when I was in Iraq. This includes when half of SOCAL evacuated due to the fires, the command, the region didn't give a shit, no one checked......but the ombudsman did.
You mean, 19-year old service members driving around in uninspected, uninsured cars? The HELL you say!
If I remember right the Air Force did a study about getting rid of the stickers, and the savings could be millions of dollars.
Plus the stickers are in stark contrast to the force protection teachings.
Welcome to the military that I joined. Most wives from that time frame have at least one story of a woman like this (Mrs C-dore has more than one).
At one time the Navy required comments about the wife's contribution to "an effective Navy team" as part of the officer FITREP. Although the requirement disappeared in the late '60s many COs continued to include these comments in the narrative section until 86/87 when SecDef issued a DoD-wide ban on any comments, including positive ones, after an Air Force incident where officers were being penalized by their Wing Commander for their wives' lack of participation in Wing activities.
You rate a salute if you are an active, reserve, or retired officer. If you are the wife or husband of same, you RATE NOTHING, because you are NOTHING. If they didn't take the oath and get a commission of their own, they are a DEPENDENT CIVILIAN. Nothing more. And they rate nothing at all beyond common courtesy. It is not a difficult concept.
The stickers need to go given that they serve no useful purpose other than to show that the driver has insurance. They never did serve any useful purpose anyway, given that the ID card should always have been checked to ensure the driver and his passengers rated base access.
haven't been there in a little while, but it used to be at the bolling afb/navy base anacostia complex the rules were different depending on which gate you went in. at the navy side- sticker required! if you had a rental, you got out, waited in line to get a pass. if you went to the air force side- ID/CAC gets you in. but once on either base, you could travel freely between the two. madness!
Guest, When I was stationed in Italy from 91-94 all O-6 and above had their stickers on little plexiglass squares that they could stick in the glove compartment for force protection reasons. Of course this overlooked the fact that the car also had nice white AFI (Allied Forces Italy) license plates as well.
Wow, what an eye-popping article. My brother-in-law is in the 82nd. I can't wait to call his wife and see what she thinks about all this.
It's not uncommon to have some tensions among the military wives who are pushed together because of their husbands' service, but I've never heard of anything quite this bad. My own experience with senior officers' wives has been mixed, but definitely has been more good than bad. I think most of them really do everything they can to help the younger wives make the transition to military life. Many of them have been very kind to me. Although yes, wearing the husband's rank is mighty common...but I don't think I've seen it carried to the extent of the Drinkwines. They were really made for eachother. :)
Oh, and my favorite quote from the article:
"Helmick said there are no expectations for spouses in the Army. Their participation is strictly voluntary, he said."
Ho, ho, ho. I can't believe he was able to say that with a straight face. I like being involved and volunteering time, but even if I didn't, the pressure would be pretty intense to take part in spousal activities.
Oh my, the wives were actually in the FITREPs? I had no idea that had ever been true. My suspicion is that the husband's home situation is still quietly taken into account, but not put into writing.
Like the "Y" plates in Japan.
Kristen, As I understand it the actual requirement only lasted for a couple of years in the early '60s until the uproar against it became too great. However, most of my first COs included positive comments about my wife ("active in the wives organization", "the make a great Navy team", etc.) in my FITREP. We thought it was the norm back then.
My sentiments exactly. Our Family Support Groups did incredible work keeping the information flowing (especially important in the pre-email days) and things under control while my commands were deployed. Had to shake my head about the General's comment that they Army doesn't have "any expectations" for CO's wives. Either he's been single since he was an O-4 or he's clueless about what his wife does when he's away. Mrs C-dore would be glad to explain things to him.
Kristen, See my comment below. Can't wait to share this with my wife when she gets home from work tonight.
This is truly an "Old School" way of looking at the C.O.W. It was always my understanding from various readings only, that the COW did have a function in the interaction and morale of the families left behind. This however is clearly the latter. You can't hve men/women who are on deployment worried about what might happen because their wives are not getting along with the CO's wife. As if there is not enough to fill their minds.
A funny anecdote: my best friend's grandfather was a vet of WW-II, Korea and Vietnam in the Army as a logistics COL. After a deployment to Vietnam he returned to Germany in the height of the hippie love movement. Driving to the PX he sees this long haired hippie girl and comments about things going to Hell in a hand basket etc.... His wife turns to him and tells him to take a closer look, that is your daughter.
Things happen and change quite a bit on deployment but the fighting men and women need to be insulated if possible. As a former Army nurse in the Pacific theatre, she recognized this and raised her 4 children, largely alone. RIP to them both, they are a dying breed.
oops me above. sorry folks
Therapist, that's a very funny story about the hippie girl being his daughter.
The latest BRAC joint-basing initiatives killed the Air Force's idea to get rid of base stickers, at least here in the land of the five-sided wind tunnel:
http://www.bolling.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123169474
OTOH, gate guards at many Army installations around here are happy to let me on with an un-stickered car once I show my retired ID. Maybe that will also change in October.
Like MTH, I just wish we'd make up our damned minds on the subject. I've never been able to get through a gate post-9/11 without showing ID so I really don't understand why we need them.
C-dore, I just remembered the first Admiral's wife that I ever met. I'm not a Navy wife and this was back when I was in the first year of college, before I met my husband or ever thought about being a military wife. She and her husband were at a party at my parents' house. I absolutely could not believe what a name-dropping snob she was - it was almost humorous to listen to her. It wonder if she could have been one of the ladies who made your wife's life difficult back in the day. :)
Guess I should have replied to this comment instead. See my link above, it's all going to change come October.
speaking as a very old member of the old community, the base sticker also used to involve a full vehicle inspection to insure that any vehicle admitted to the base was in full working condition, headlights, tail lights, horn, brakes, stuff like that. You probably can't imagine what clearing quarters and the base were like in the Army in 1968. That whole sticker needed to be presented to the provost before that box could be ticked off on the base clearance checklist.
I never saluted a sticker.
I drive to MCRD periodically for stuff and the young marines come to attention, always, for the stickers but they don't salute until after they've seen the CAC. I've always felt awkward about it because I can never return the salute.
My mom was an army bride back in 1957 and heir to another army bride of 1935. She was PA Dutch to the bone. She would either have climbed Dr. Drinkwine like a tree and ripped her head off the very first time there was any kind of 'problem' or just never attended any future activities. She would do just what she did throughout the Vietnam War and payed calls on the widows and families and offered endless support but perhaps without any official cachet. I remember her irritation as the senior officer's lady at one post when she declined any further participation in the Wive's Club. It was on an Air Force base back when, as C-14 mentioned, the USAF still rated officers on the performance of their wives. It was our only time on a USAF installation.
Anybody can meet her today. She's a guide at the Smithsonian; both the National History Museum and the Natural History Museum. Used to hand out acousti-guide headsets at Air and Space. For the last 20 years. It's flush with power that she is.
Sir,
We're going into the weeds here and thus, will never see the light of day again but do you actually have any security at your installation? Is there an overwatch for your gate guard? INCONUS or out I'd say a quite visible overwatch with a machine gun might be appropriate in this day and age.
A 10 year old can drive onto most bases at will. That guy looking at CAC cards is toast if the car slowing down and pulling up and lowering the window just pulls out a pistol instead of a CAC.
You do know it's a joke right? Do you have $ to put in place real security? Think of the FAST buzzards. Or embassies.
Very senior officers have not been issued stickers in the WMD for decades. They get a plastic sort of thing with their "sticker stuff" on it that they can put on the dash when they enter the installation. Outfall from the General Dozier thing.
OTOH, I went to Camp Pendleton to play golf a couple of years ago and there were half a dozen SUV with 4 stars on each windshield of generals there playing golf. It was CMC and cronies but they eschewed the Army Military District of Washington approach which was to try to make anonymous the very senior guys so open to terrorism.
The whole sticker thing is a scam. Needs to be discontinued. Biometrics is sure to cost billions and amount to nothing in terms of security. Either do it for real/post Khobar or don't bother.
Oh, and I forgot to add: The Admiral was a total sweetheart. He was much more approachable and nicer than his wife. Although he did tell me, the very innocent 18-year-old daughter of his host and hostess, that I should go bar-hopping in Key West for a good time. My father wasn't terribly appreciative, but I guess that's proof that Navy men stay young at heart. :)
" it's all going to change come October."
and that is dumb. if its a legitimate security issue, change it TODAY. if it can wait until October, then do we really have a problem?
I think people who behave like this --well, they just haven't figured out how to be really happy. I mean, the kind of happy that enables you to get beyond pettiness, using threats and most of all --thinking you're so much better than others.
Quite frankly, I don't have time for people like that. I just don't. I can be nice and not give an inch. But when I meet someone who is so full of ego, so disrespectful of others, I tend to put distance between myself and them, and think "Wow, that's one hot mess."
And then I walk away. The sad part for people like them? As they grow older, they'll find that none of their friends are good enough. Their kids aren't good enough. No one around them will do what they want. They'll see the world through a very tainted lens. Usually they tend to self isolate, and they die having repelled so many.
Advice to any who come across her:
If she approaches you, walk to a public place. In plain sight, turn the video camera on your cell phone on, and begin recording.
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