Monday, August 03, 2009

The useful idiocy of Nirthers

I can’t take it anymore. I have done my best. I have ignored the emails, tweets, and general bag-o-nuts that the whole CINC birth certificate has thrown about the blogosphere.

Why? Well, first thing --- it all reeks of he 90’s BlackHelicopter and militia madness. It also is a twister sister of the Bushitler/Selected-not-elected crowd of the 00’s.

Second, it is just not a story.

Why does the madness continue? Well part of it is, I am convinced, by design or accident, good politics by the CINC’s supporters.

If your opponents are dead-set on marginalizing themselves and generally degrade their credibility, why on Gia’s Green Earth would you want to convince them to do otherwise?

If I were Axlerod, I would have the framed original of the CINC’s birth certificate firmly on the wall above the head in my master bedroom and would kiss it as part of my morning ablutions - and ignore every and all questions about it ... forever.

Think of it in military terms.

For some reason you do not understand, your enemy has decided that you are protecting your supplies at the far end of a swamp half-way to your left flank - and he want them. All you know that is at the end of the swamp is a septic lake. Your supplies are where they should be - well in the rear, mobile, and well defended.

Because the swamp is almost impossible to maneuver troops and supporting arms through, you have it thinly covered. You have discovered through intelligence that your enemy is pondering committing his reserves as they find thin resistance. Of course it is thin - the swamp is its best defender and you have your weak mountain cousin defending it.

The enemy doesn’t know that the swamp gets progressively deeper with sections of quicksand and ROUS everywhere …. And on top of that, is surrounded by high ground on three sides.

Well, you have two divisions of cavalry in reserve and one of grenadiers from an allied nation just showed up on the battlefield (Walloon, late again of course).

One of your antsy Brigadiers wants to slow the enemy advance through the swamp by shifting two battalions of artillery from the center … but no. Instead, you want Prince Rupert von Klagenfurt, whose infantry is covering the swamp, to withdrawal faster … and make it look panicky.

From a previous campaign, you know von Klagenfurt’s troops won’t have a problem with that … so you start to get that grin that makes your Chief of Staff sit a little higher in the saddle when he sees it.

“No," you say, "Let them come. Tell the Walloon grenadiers and one of the cavalry that I want them to move up the valley, quiet and hidden, around and to the near left flank on the rise north of the swamp. The other division of cavalry should move behind us to the center rise to the south of the swamp. I also want the Elector of Vulgaria to move half of his hussars from the right flank behind the smoke of the artillery. No one is to betray their positions until I give them the signal. When I do, if in the end I even have to, they are to give no quarter.

Oh, and tell Marshall Count Mountjoy and his artillery to expect to shift his fire left soon.

Under no circumstances are the enemy to have any feeling that we have detected their penetration through the swamp. Again, von Klagenfurt will have no problem pretending to have a lousy A6.”

That is it in a Seven Year's War sense.

The more effort the CINC’s political opponents invest into chasing birth certificate childish fantasies, the more they are going to be ignored. No one in the White House is going to give them anything they want, and therefore make the nirthers even more mad – putting their AFDB on even tighter.

The more Becks, Limbaughs, and Dobbs that they can get to commit their forces to the ever deepening swamp, the better.

Once they feel they have as much in the swamp that will fit there, the grenadiers with a division of cavalry will show up on the northern rise, the other division of cavalry on the south rise with shell and shot coming in the middle. The left flank will fold in ---- and the Elector of Vulgaria’s hussars will close the pocket. Either that, or the
ROUS will take care of them all.

As a result, less time and effort will be dedicated to real issues, and some of the opposition’s most influential forces will be discredited.

Beautiful, isn’t it? Remember, when your opponent is destroying himself, by all means, don’t get in his way. Help if you can.

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