Proactively “From the Sea”; an agent of change leveraging the littoral best practices for a paradigm breaking six-sigma best business case to synergize a consistent design in the global commons, rightsizing the core values supporting our mission statement via the 5-vector model through cultural diversity.
Monday, August 01, 2011
Caption Contest
Oh my.
Full story here. 72-hr liberty chit for any 3-day weekend for the winner. Enter by 2359N Sid judges, as is his nature.
2-man working party removes Chaplain's body after DADT expiration.
Norfolk, VA. A U.S. Navy Southern Baptist Chaplain died today after two crew members asked him to perform a same-sex wedding. Witnesses said the 35 year old Chaplain turned bright red, shortly before his head exploded. The local Navy Legal Service Office detailed three JAG officers to pay claims for damage to cars in the first 5 rows of the parking lot.
2014 Basking in the glorious light of the Socialist Revolution, Naval personel help harvest the crops under the supervision of zampolit Lt ... "We are all socialist now. We must do all that is necessary to meet the goals of the Five-Year plan"...
Sailors from USS Neverdock help recover missing US Military absentee ballots from the 2008 election after their discovery in a Washington, DC landfill.
"Until the world is at peace, free from natural disasters, and there is no longer any stupid service project that we can find to justify our existence, the United States Navy--America's Global Force for Good--will be there."
By the way, did you notice that in the latest commercial the voice doesn't say "Until the world is safe for democracy?" Since when do we give a damn about peace? I thought it was all about freedom and liberty........
By the way, did you notice that in the latest commercial the voice doesn't say "Until the world is safe for democracy?" Since when do we give a damn about peace? I thought it was all about freedom and liberty........
"The last of the bodies of the crew of LCS-1 are recovered. USS Freedom is the only warship in the history of the US Navy to be lost to small arms fire. A US Navy spokesperson said that the Captain and crew made a grievous error in judgment in believing that their Littoral Combat Ship was intended for combat in the littorals."
Los Zetas: We didnt know Gringo ships burn so easily when sprayed with some incendiary rounds! NRA: We cathegorically demand to stop government search and seize onboard of private yachts. Yacht is a floating home and needs a courts warrant! Putin: I ordered M.Kalashnikov to be decorated Naval Order of .... for designing small arms capable of sinking ships! CNO: We need to procure more LCS to replace combat losses! CNN: in next news, another 27 yo star overdoses drugs! PLAN: just in case, test one of our new frigates with live-fire AK-47 damage! Iran Naval Revolutionary Guard: how many of LCS could we kill with one speedboat? Greenpeace: we protest pollution caused by burning LCS and demand their withdrawal!
Seaman Joker, why did you join my beloved Navy? Sir, to rake, sir! So you're a gardener? Sir, yes sir! Then let me see your pruning face! Sir? You got a pruning face! AAAAAAAAHH! That's a pruning face, let me see your pruning face!
We did something like this in Thailand, true story. It was basically gardening at an old folks home. We started to weed the pond or whatever it was, as just before we got to it, I realized that Thailand has cobras, or thought they did. We beat the living bejeebers out of those weeds with LONG sticks before we bent down to start pulling them up. I don't know if the threat was real or not, but I did NOT want to go see HM1 hoping he had cobra anti-venom. I was QUITE certain the 800 mg of Vitamin M was not going to fix that!
So happens I am wiling some time away in a place with a view of boats, an occasional VH-60 and VH-3, and some towering cu's turning into big gray uglies...
116305-N-FU911-101 ANNAPOLIS, Maryland (June 14, 2012) Yeoman 3rd Class Edward Welsh, left, and Culinary Specialist Seaman Cheryl Burger recover the body of John Paul Jones for future meritious service in the United States Navy green energy program. In compliance with the navy standards of excellence in execution of safety, environmental, and health guidelines the LCS and DDX program, as well as number of diversity, gender, and other transformational programs are disbanded during the transport of Captain Jones in order to prevent him from prematurely spinning in his bag.
"In order to help the Navy meet the new PFT standards and the mandated diversity quotas, it is now authorized to assist overweight shipmates during the PFT by carrying them in a bag. This is only authorized if the overweight shipmate is sufficiently diverse."
The US Navy's morale was recovered today, having been missing for the past several years. A government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated that it appeared to have been taken into these bushes, where it was brutally beaten, sodomized and strangled. Still missing is the Navy's fighting spirit, which was last seen in company with its morale. "This is a sad day for us all," said ADM Mike Mullen, "but for some of us, at least there's a little closure." When asked about hope for finding the Navy's fighting spirit again, Mullen declined to comment.
I guess that's what happens when you venture into DC without your Liberty buddy.... Fighting Spirit should have been ashamed to leave Morale to go off with the Parliament of Whores.
Mullen knows he would catch holy hell if he had pictures of "diverse" sailors performing menial tasks. Then he would have to kowtow even more to the activists.
Mullen must have back problems from all the bowing and scraping he does.
An intrepid shore party is launched, led by P02 Chubbly, to retrieve leaves and tinder. Prior to the 2012 election, the Navy was forced to return to non-green coal/leaf burning for steaming and traversing from one shoreside diversity festival to the next. Pictured here is enough fuel for 4 hours worth of dwell time in the littorals, or 2 diversity fetishivals. NAMs were awarded to all participants.
I'm surprised that Mullen can actually stand after he underwent surgery to remove his spine. You'd think that the pain meds alone would keep him from appearing in public.
"After successfully going to sea on a wartime footing, the Navy unloaded the Marines in record time. Seen here are two sailors, SA F[redacted]Y and some other POG carrying the daily ration of coffee beans for the nearby USS Ronald Reagan (CVN-76) [not shown], the crew having run out of useful things to do (other than drinking coffee) until some misguided children get bored of killing people and breaking things."
2012; Remake of the Navy Classic, "The Last Detail". This revamped and up to date film concerns two Sailors who must bring the body of Signalman First Class Budduski home to Andoshen, PA for burial.
We got CDR Salamander. Now where do we dump him?
ReplyDeleteSalamander Recovery Team:
ReplyDeleteWe got him!
Damn, SECNAV is really getting brutal with all these CO's getting fired!
ReplyDeleteBoy when the economy went who would have thought we would find work in mexico picking fruit.
ReplyDeleteBoy when the economy went who would have thought we would find work in mexico picking fruit.
ReplyDeletethe US Coast Guard has excellent gardeners
ReplyDeleteHey, remember when coveralls were an underway-only uniform, not fit for public viewing?
ReplyDeleteYeah. Now shaddup and LIFT.
And almost NSFW entry:
ReplyDeleteIs that a cell phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to be haulin' bush?
"At least we don't have to wear those crappy NWUs."
ReplyDeleteNever, I mean NEVER speak ill of the diversity directorate again!
ReplyDeleteLooks like Skippy's gonna be on liberty risk again...
ReplyDeletew/r, SJS
<bong-bong><bong-bong>
ReplyDelete"<span>Emory S. Land, departing"</span>
<bong></bong></bong-bong></bong-bong>
COMDIVLANT, 2051
ReplyDeleteWith the fleet having dropped below 85 ships, Jimmy and Johnny work round the clock on their Arborist Qualification Pin.
2-man working party removes Chaplain's body after DADT expiration.
ReplyDeleteNorfolk, VA. A U.S. Navy Southern Baptist Chaplain died today after two crew members asked him to perform a same-sex wedding. Witnesses said the 35 year old Chaplain turned bright red, shortly before his head exploded. The local Navy Legal Service Office detailed three JAG officers to pay claims for damage to cars in the first 5 rows of the parking lot.
"Who knew you needed liberty buddies when you visit a convent??"
ReplyDelete"Just shut up and carry your end."
"Aren't we taking this bio-fuel thing a bit too far?"
ReplyDeleteA Shipmate helps you hide the body!
ReplyDelete2014
ReplyDeleteBasking in the glorious light of the Socialist Revolution, Naval personel help harvest the crops under the supervision of zampolit Lt ... "We are all socialist now. We must do all that is necessary to meet the goals of the Five-Year plan"...
Harvesting the bitter fruit of the "debt crisis" military budget cuts - Nov. 2011
ReplyDeleteSailors from USS Neverdock help recover missing US Military absentee ballots from the 2008 election after their discovery in a Washington, DC landfill.
ReplyDeleteThe United States Navy...A Global Force for Good Landscaping.
ReplyDelete"McGee! Get over here and give Ziva and DiNozzo a hand."
ReplyDeleteGreetings:
ReplyDeleteNaval seapersons help escapee from radical Catholicism.
Diversity Directorate always gets its man. RIP, Salamander.
ReplyDelete"Until the world is at peace, free from natural disasters, and there is no longer any stupid service project that we can find to justify our existence, the United States Navy--America's Global Force for Good--will be there."
ReplyDeleteBy the way, did you notice that in the latest commercial the voice doesn't say "Until the world is safe for democracy?" Since when do we give a damn about peace? I thought it was all about freedom and liberty........
ReplyDeleteBy the way, did you notice that in the latest commercial the voice doesn't say "Until the world is safe for democracy?" Since when do we give a damn about peace? I thought it was all about freedom and liberty........
ReplyDelete"The last of the bodies of the crew of LCS-1 are recovered. USS Freedom is the only warship in the history of the US Navy to be lost to small arms fire. A US Navy spokesperson said that the Captain and crew made a grievous error in judgment in believing that their Littoral Combat Ship was intended for combat in the littorals."
ReplyDeleteLos Zetas: We didnt know Gringo ships burn so easily when sprayed with some incendiary rounds!
ReplyDeleteNRA: We cathegorically demand to stop government search and seize onboard of private yachts. Yacht is a floating home and needs a courts warrant!
Putin: I ordered M.Kalashnikov to be decorated Naval Order of .... for designing small arms capable of sinking ships!
CNO: We need to procure more LCS to replace combat losses!
CNN: in next news, another 27 yo star overdoses drugs!
PLAN: just in case, test one of our new frigates with live-fire AK-47 damage!
Iran Naval Revolutionary Guard: how many of LCS could we kill with one speedboat?
Greenpeace: we protest pollution caused by burning LCS and demand their withdrawal!
I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating leaves from an ancient tree... and rake them.
ReplyDeleteSeaman Joker, why did you join my beloved Navy?
ReplyDeleteSir, to rake, sir!
So you're a gardener?
Sir, yes sir!
Then let me see your pruning face!
Sir?
You got a pruning face! AAAAAAAAHH! That's a pruning face, let me see your pruning face!
The bottom line:
ReplyDeleteCulinary Specialist carries leaves during a community service project at a retirement home to promote peace and foster growing relationships.
CAPTION: What kind of leaves promote peace, and would a retirement home the safest place to grow them?
And the last opponent to the LCS program has been found...
ReplyDeleteSailors gather tropical pixie dust for LCS modules...film at 11:00.
ReplyDeleteAnd then they fired him 5 yrs later.
ReplyDeleteDo I only get to give Ziva my hand? ;)
ReplyDeleteWe did something like this in Thailand, true story. It was basically gardening at an old folks home. We started to weed the pond or whatever it was, as just before we got to it, I realized that Thailand has cobras, or thought they did. We beat the living bejeebers out of those weeds with LONG sticks before we bent down to start pulling them up. I don't know if the threat was real or not, but I did NOT want to go see HM1 hoping he had cobra anti-venom. I was QUITE certain the 800 mg of Vitamin M was not going to fix that!
ReplyDelete1. USN meets Goodfellas
ReplyDelete2. The CO's body was heavy but the prospect of unlimited and unrestricted liberty made it all worth it.
3. After Bin Laden washed up ashore, TPU sent out a working party to finish up DEVGRU's work.
Gobsmacked I be!
ReplyDeleteSo happens I am wiling some time away in a place with a view of boats, an occasional VH-60 and VH-3, and some towering cu's turning into big gray uglies...
Which is meaning yet more time to wile away.
So.
I'm ponderin' 8-)
116305-N-FU911-101 ANNAPOLIS, Maryland (June 14, 2012) Yeoman 3rd Class Edward Welsh, left, and Culinary Specialist Seaman Cheryl Burger recover the body of John Paul Jones for future meritious service in the United States Navy green energy program. In compliance with the navy standards of excellence in execution of safety, environmental, and health guidelines the LCS and DDX program, as well as number of diversity, gender, and other transformational programs are disbanded during the transport of Captain Jones in order to prevent him from prematurely spinning in his bag.
ReplyDelete"Two Sailors demonstrate the ease of transporting the new seabag designed to carry all the Navy's new uniforms."
ReplyDeleteCompletely OT, but since the boss is away, some of you folks like this 1971 Navy Film about NATC Pax River.
ReplyDeleteThe bomb separation part is pretty entertaining.
Completely OT, but since the boss is away, some of you folks like this 1971 Navy Film about NATC Pax River.
ReplyDeleteThe bomb separation part is pretty entertaining.
"In order to help the Navy meet the new PFT standards and the mandated diversity quotas, it is now authorized to assist overweight shipmates during the PFT by carrying them in a bag. This is only authorized if the overweight shipmate is sufficiently diverse."
ReplyDeleteA friend helps you move. A shipmate helps you move bodies.
ReplyDeleteThe US Navy's morale was recovered today, having been missing for the past several years. A government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated that it appeared to have been taken into these bushes, where it was brutally beaten, sodomized and strangled. Still missing is the Navy's fighting spirit, which was last seen in company with its morale. "This is a sad day for us all," said ADM Mike Mullen, "but for some of us, at least there's a little closure." When asked about hope for finding the Navy's fighting spirit again, Mullen declined to comment.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's what happens when you venture into DC without your Liberty buddy....
ReplyDeleteFighting Spirit should have been ashamed to leave Morale to go off with the Parliament of Whores.
The Diversity Bully Eradication Squad at work.
ReplyDeleteExcept this cleanup crew is not diverse enough. Too many white faces. Adm. Mullen, call your office. Don't let them discriminate like this.
ReplyDeleteMullen knows he would catch holy hell if he had pictures of "diverse" sailors performing menial tasks. Then he would have to kowtow even more to the activists.
ReplyDeleteMullen must have back problems from all the bowing and scraping he does.
An intrepid shore party is launched, led by P02 Chubbly, to retrieve leaves and tinder. Prior to the 2012 election, the Navy was forced to return to non-green coal/leaf burning for steaming and traversing from one shoreside diversity festival to the next. Pictured here is enough fuel for 4 hours worth of dwell time in the littorals, or 2 diversity fetishivals. NAMs were awarded to all participants.
ReplyDeleteFiscal restraint was found dead today. Here, U.S. Coast Guard members remove the body from a nearby park.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that Mullen can actually stand after he underwent surgery to remove his spine. You'd think that the pain meds alone would keep him from appearing in public.
ReplyDelete"After successfully going to sea on a wartime footing, the Navy unloaded the Marines in record time. Seen here are two sailors, SA F[redacted]Y and some other POG carrying the daily ration of coffee beans for the nearby USS Ronald Reagan (CVN-76) [not shown], the crew having run out of useful things to do (other than drinking coffee) until some misguided children get bored of killing people and breaking things."
ReplyDeleteSpade gets my vote.
ReplyDelete"Let me see your pruning face"! That is funny.
He owes me a new keyboard, but a cup of coffee will suffice.
2012; Remake of the Navy Classic, "The Last Detail". This revamped and up to date film concerns two Sailors who must bring the body of Signalman First Class Budduski home to Andoshen, PA for burial.
ReplyDeleteOk...
ReplyDeleteThey were <span>alll</span> good..
But I am sticking with CDR K's:
<span>A friend helps you move. A shipmate helps you move bodies.</span>
Not exactly levity...
But it's what it is all about.
Even the porch.
I never was one for much levity. Bitter and cynical is more my style. But, thank you, I'll be here all week.
ReplyDeleteCaption Contest:
ReplyDeleteThese must be Coast Guardeners !!!
sorry 'bout the pun ....