Sagging, Bunching, Bulging, Protruding

No, this is not a post about Skippy's opinion of American women - but about NAVADMIN 025/11.

The part about new uniform regulations WRT cell phones made me laugh.

B. USE OF PORTABLE COMMUNICATION DEVICES. EFFECTIVE 60 DAYS FROM THE RELEASE OF THIS MESSAGE, COMMUNICATION DEVICES (E.G. CELL PHONES, BLACKBERRIES, PAGERS, ETC.) ARE AUTHORIZED FOR USE AND WEAR WHILE IN UNIFORM (TO INCLUDE WALKING) IN THE MANNER PRESCRIBED AS FOLLOWS:
(1) COMMUNICATION DEVICES SHALL BE CONSERVATIVE IN COLOR AND DESIGN AND SHALL NOT DISTRACT FROM THE APPEARANCE OF THE UNIFORM.
(2) ONLY ONE COMMUNICATION DEVICE IS AUTHORIZED FOR WEAR AND CAN ONLY BE WORN ON THE BELT OF WORKING AND SERVICE UNIFORMS AFT OF THE ELBOW.
(3) WEARING OF COMMUNICATION DEVICES ON SERVICE DRESS UNIFORMS IS NOT AUTHORIZED.
(4) COMMUNICATION DEVICES WILL NOT BE VISIBLE FROM THE FRONT AND WORN IN SUCH A MANNER AS TO IMPEDE THE NORMAL WEAR AND APPEARANCE OF THE UNIFORM (E.G. SAGGING, BUNCHING, BULGING, PROTRUDING ETC.).

I want to meet the person who can wear a smart phone that way and EVER sit down. Aft of the elbow? Really?

I've never worn such (I consider them on par with pocket protectors) and never liked them in uniform period, but seriously - who can wear them like that?

Fair policy, I guess. But .... making me take my bluetooth ear piece off when entering base is silly. That is no less distracting than Mrs. Salamander in the right seat commenting on my driving every 5 seconds. Now, if MA2 Aquaflage could stop that - then on-base safety would be drastically improved.

Ummm, I'm in trouble again, aren't I?