Brush up on your Chinese, Shipmate

Ready for the Great Asia-Pacific war? Well thanks to a link from SilentRunning, the CANX series Firefly, and the upcoming movie Serenity – you are now.

Below is a handy list of Chinese phrases that will get you started. Why wait for the war? There are plenty of chances to use them now.

Without telling you which ones are which, some are the ones I wish I had at the last Commanders Conference and/or trip to the beltway when I had to listen to another one of XXXX’s speeches that start with the stupid joke, terrible syntax, clueless comments, and and with useless advice – or some rep from WBB/Thomas Group/NAVAIR/NAVSEA/SPAWAR/PMA blather on with forked tongue.

Others are those phrases that I suspect were used with/at Skippy on his last trip to Hong Kong.

***********DOME DIRTY WORDS FOLLOW***********

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng

"frog-humping sonofab----"

Nee hao?

"Hello?"

Shee-niou
"Cow sucking"

mei mei

little sister

Tyen-sah duh UH-muo.

"Goddamn monsters."

Lao TYEN yeh.

"Jesus."

Wuh de ma.

"Mother of god."

Jen dao mei!

"Just our luck!"

tyen shiao duh

"name of all that's sacred"

Tzao gao.

"Crap."

"Loopy in the head. Fong luh. All of you."

"Loopy in the head."

Wuh de tyen, ah.

"Dear god in heaven."

Hwoon dahn.

"Jerk."

gun HOE-tze bee DIO-se
"engage in a feces hurling contest with a monkey"

TZOO-foo nee, mei-mei.
"Blessing on you, dear sister."

dong MA?

"Understand?"

jen mei NAI-shing duh FWO-tzoo
"Extraordinarily impatient Buddha"

Wang bao {sic}

"dirty bastard sons-of--"

niao SE duh DOO-gway

"p-ss-soaked pikers"

LAN-dan JIANG!

"Weak-ass sauce!"

Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi!?

"What is this garbage!?"

Yeh-soo, ta ma duh...

"Hay-soose (Jesus)-mother-of-jumped-up--"

shiong mao niao

"panda urine"

Hoo-tsuh.

"Shut up."

(guh jun duh) hwoon dahn!

"(a real) jerk!"

Gao yang jong duh goo yang.

"Motherless goats of all motherless goats."

FAY-FAY duh PEE-yen
"a baboon's {sic} ass-crack"

BEE-jway, neen hen BOO-TEE-TYEH duh NAN-shung!
"Shut up, you inconsiderate schoolboys!"

shiong-mung duh kwong-run
"violent lunatic"

Dahng rahn.

"Of course."

Nee boo (gahn dahng), nee (hwong chong).

"You don't deserve her, you fink."

Gwon nee tze-jee duh shr.

"Mind your own business."

{BORROWED CHINESE} bao

"bao" or stuffed bun

Da-shiong bao (tse shr la) doo tze!

"The explosive diarrhea of an elephant!"

hwoon dahn

"bastard"

Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh

"Holy mother of god and all her wacky Nephews"

Run-tse duh FWO-tzoo...

"Merciful buddha..."

jien hwo

"cheap floozy"

jing-tsai

"brilliant"

Dung ee-miao

"Hold on a second."

Ai ya!

"Damn!"

fei-oo

"junk"

Chur ni-duh.

"Screw you."

What the guay do...

"What the hell do..."

Jeo-shung yong-jur goo-jang. Jien-cha yong-chi gong yin {sic}."

"Life support failure. Check oxygen levels at once."

suo-yo duh doh shr-dang

"all that's proper"

Dong-ma?

"Understand?"

go se {Invading Captain sounds like go-suh}

"dog crap"

Jien tah duh guay!

Like hell!

Nah may gwon-shee.

That's all right then.

tyen shiao duh

God knows what

dah bien-hwa

big change

Liou koe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze.

Stupid son of a drooling harlot and a monkey.

niou-se

"cow poop"

shwai

"cute"

luh-suh

"garbage"

Fay hwa.

"Nonsense."

Ma-shong!

"Now!"

Lao tyen, boo.

"Oh, god, no."

jing-(chang) mei yong duh

"consistently useless"

nyen ching duh

"young one"

Ta ma duh!

"F-ck me blind!"

BEE-jway.

"Shut up."

Shr ah.

"Affirmative."

Ai ya! Hwai leh!

"Sh-t on my head!"

BEE-jway.

"Shut up."

(Joo ta ma ya ming). Joo-yee.

"Watch your back."

Ching jin.

"Come in."

Nee ta ma duh. Tyen-shia suo-yo duh run doh gai si.

"F-ck everyone in the universe to death."

Nee mun doh BEE-jway!

"Everybody shut the hell up!"

kwong-chee duh

"nuts"

Hwoon dahn!

Jerk!

Ai ya, wo mun wan leh.

"We're in big trouble."

Shuh muh?

"I'm sorry?"

Wei!

"Hey!"

bao bay

"sweetheart"

Tee wuh duh pee-goo.

"Kick me in the bottom."

wun gwo pee

"smelled a fart"

pee-goo

"bottom"

Lao pung yo, nee can chi lai hun yo jing shen.

"You're looking wonderful, old friend."

gou shi (gos se)

"dog crap"

Sheh-sheh

"Thank you"

Shah muh?

"What?"

Tsai boo shr.

"No way."

yu bun duh

"stupid"

Nee GAO-soo NA niou, TA yo shwong mei-moo?

"Why don't you tell the cow about its beautiful eyes?"

Dong ma?
"Understand?"

TYEN shiao-duh
"Name of all that's sacred"

shiong tse sha sho
"brutal assassin"

Wuo duh MA
"Mother-of-Jesus"

go-se
crap

Ching zai-lai ee-bay Ng-Ka-Pei?

"Can I have one more glass of Ng-Ka-Pei, please?" \\ Note: Ngkapei is an actual Chinese rice wine/liqueur soaked in the root bark of the medicinal herb acanthopanax. More: http://alternativehealing.org/wuJiaPi.htm

Oh, juh jun shr guh kwai-luh duh jin-jun...

"Oh, this is a happy development..."

Kuh-oo duh lao bao-jun...

"Horrible old tyrant..."

jun duh shr tyen-tsai

"an absolute genius"

Dong ma?

Understand?

go tsao

dog-humped

BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO.

"Stupid, inbred pile of meat."

HOE-tze duh PEE-goo!

"Monkey's butt!"

EE-chee shung-hoo-shee.

"Let's take a deep breath."

suoxi or Suo-SHEE?

"narrow"

Nee mun DOH shr sagwa.

"Idiots. All of you."

BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo

"remorseless harridan"

Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN.

"Holy testicle."

Wahg-ba {sic} DAN duh biao-tze.

"Harlots of S.O.B.s"

Tah-shr SUO-yo DEE-yure duh biao-tze duh MAH!

"Whores in hell!"

Chiang-BAO HOE-tze duh

"monkey raping"

KWAI chur hun-rien duh di fahng.

"Go far away very fast."

FAHNG-sheen.

"Don't worry."

JAN-doh duh ee-KWAI-ro

"dangly piece of flesh"

Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo.

"All the planets in space flushed into my butt"

fahng-tzong fung-kwong duh jeh

"a knot of self indulgent lunacy"

niou-se

"cow dung"

Tzao-gao!

"Damn it!"

Meh, tah mah duh hwoon dahn.

"Mother humping son of a b----."

And for the guys working on the LPD-17 fiasco....

Huh choo-shung huh tza-jiao duh tzang-huo!

"Filthy fornicators of livestock!"