Time to play Bullshit Bingo

One of my “deep select” Department Heads, LCDR Rotorhead, sent along a perfect example of the flip-side of “Dazzle them with brilliance.”

Behold some low-lights from the SEP 05 edition of All Hands; page 6.

To identify the skills needed to operate the ship, Human Capital Objects (HCO), a detailed description that identifies all work, including watches and collateral duties.

“LCS is the first ship on which manning and training requirements were determined based on the development of HCOs, leveraging the significant work accomplished in Job/Task Analysis and skills-based assessment,” said CSCS Commanding Officer CAPT Rick Easton.

Ungh. Really, the first time? No one ever thought of manning a ship based on what skills were needed to fight (notice I didn’t say operate. You operate a sewing machine. You fight a ship.) a U.S. Navy ship? Whoever came up with this idea must make Admirals Nelson, Nimtz, Halsey, and Zumwalt seem like a brain damaged ABH (not that there is anything wrong with a non-brain damaged ABH).

Ungh, again. Not to give my “alter-ego real-self” away, but I was close to the birth of the “Human Capital Strategy” (HCS). One of the things my little O5 self mentioned in a room full of O6-O8s (not that anyone heard) was that we need to make sure we don’t “Total Quality Leadership” (TQL) the HCS program. If we just turn it into a buzz word FITREP filler, it will have as little credibility on the deckplates as TQL did. Well, since the big push last winter, I am afraid that TQL …. I mean HCS is just turning into the worst of Beltwayistic Potomac Flotillatism.

Oh wait, it gets worse.

“Today you have a billet on a ship that’s ascribed to an engineman 2nd class. That means you have a stovepipe you can only put an enginemen in that billet who does enginemen type work based on occupational standards and things of that nature,” explained CNE 5-Vector Model Manager Roy Hoyt. “When you want to build a hybrid Sailor, what you’re doing now is mixing and matching the flavor of work contained within that billet that becomes your HCO.”

As a result, some of the LCS work requirements such as some scheduled maintenance and repairs are being moved ashore. Regardless of rating, the added skills will be reflected in the Sailor’s 5-Vector Model.

“Sailors on this Littoral Combat Ship are going to attain various certifications, qualifications, knowledge, skills and abilities that will be resident on their 5-Vector Model, so that in the future when they want to move to another HCO that is created, they can compare their resume against that position and in many cases may fit better than their contemporaries,” he said.

Roy is really into job security. Hybrid Sailor. Did I just read that? Like that is anything new. Almost every Sailor I have served with has been a “Hybrid Sailor.” There is a lot of good in the 5VM, but they are saddling it with such BS, Navy FITREP speak and hyperbole that outside their self-licking-ice-cream-cone world – they are loosing every enlisted person below Senior Chief and every officer below CDR.

Don’t even get me started, again, with the term Littoral Combat Ship (AKA Frigate or Corvette). Like these beltway bandits are the first Navy types in history to want to fight in shallow water close to shore. Everyone is saddling this program with their pet projects, and you know what I do not see a focus on in the public press WRT the new Corvette (AKA LCS)? Warfighting. Counterfire on the 155mm battery that snuck up on you while you are dropping off SOF forces or looking for terrorists in go-fasts. Quick response to a grounded SSK. AAW on a flight of attack helicopters engaging forces ashore. Damage control and fighting hurt when hit by any of the above.

That is what we need to read more about. Keep going like we are folks, and we are going to wind up like the Royal Navy, more Admirals than warships…..or are we already there yet?

This reminds me so much of a bunch of teenagers who think they are the first ones to discover sex.