I think these guys wrote my last FITREP

Where, oh where, was the SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator when I was in grad school?

Academic writing is just all full of foolishness, and MIT guru Jeremy Stribling and two of his fellow grad students just proved it.

The trio submitted two of the randomly assembled papers to the World Multi-Conference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics (WMSCI), scheduled to be held July 10-13 in Orlando, Florida.

To their surprise, one of the papers -- "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy" -- was accepted for presentation.

BAAWAAAHAAAHHAAA!!! Go read "Rooter" here. One of their better lines goes,

"the model for our heuristic consists of four independent components: simulated annealing, active networks, flexible modalities, and the study of reinforcement learning" and "We implemented our scatter/gather I/O server in Simula-67, augmented with opportunistically pipelined extensions."

Better yet, go build your own here. I even "wrote" one of my own that I am very proud of,

On the Improvement of Write-Back Caches, by Phibian Salamander

What do I have to say on the subject?,

We now compare our approach to previous wearable algorithms methods. Further, Niklaus Wirth et al. [7] and Garcia [8,9] introduced the first known instance of autonomous symmetries. Furthermore, the original approach to this grand challenge [3] was considered intuitive; on the other hand, it did not completely achieve this aim. Our method to B-trees differs from that of Erwin Schroedinger as well. However, the complexity of their method grows quadratically as symbiotic information grows.

This is just too rich.

Hat tip to Jonah.